Communication - Taking Responsibility
Every problem is a two-way transaction. Each person involved is responsible for part of it. Playing the "Blame Game" is not only unproductive, but it's dishonest. Whenever you find yourself expecting the other person to "change" in order to "fix" the problem, you are avoiding taking responsibility for your own behavior or attitude. In all situations you must self-reflect and be willing to confess your wrong doing and commit to change your bad habits and negative influences. Always be willing to ask yourself these questions:
- Did I fly off the handle? Is this a pattern for me?
- Do I have a need to be right? Has my need to be right become more important than my relationship, more important than my happiness?
- Do I have a need to win the argument? Is this reflection of insecurity destroying my ability to create positive, peaceful feelings in the family?
- Do I tend to blame other's instead of attempting to see how I need to improve?
- Are my expectations too high for this person? Am I willing to see if this is true?
- How can I do things differently this time so that we don't have a problem?
- How can I try to make my child/partner feel listened to this time?
- How will I behave differently next time to prevent a negative interaction?